Thursday, June 16th, 2017:

One day following the announcement of the blockbuster mega-fight between Floyd “Money” Mayweather and Connor “Notorious” McGregor, The Chapmanville Times interviewed local residents in the community of Chapmanville, WV about what they thought about the upcoming August mega-fight.

Resident “Big” Rick Massey reportedly told The Times, “I think it could be great for the local economy. I mean, it ain’t coal, but Giovannis will probably have a big crowd come out to watch the fight. Trump isn’t only making America Great Again, but he’s also making Chapmanville great again. He’s keeping his promises. That’ll be real good.”

While Massey was excited about the fight, not all of the residents of Chapmanville shared the same enthusiasm.

Local Feminist, Environmental Activist, and boutique owner – Linda Hatfield-McCoy, the twice-removed great great great granddaughter of Johnse Hatfield and Roseanna McCoy quipped, “I think this fight really needed more diversity and equality. I would have really liked to seen someone of the female gender up against Mayweather or McGregor. I mean, we really had the opportunity to make history here with the first ever cross-gender, cross-combat discipline fight. Why couldn’t they have thrown in someone like Laila Ali or Rhonda Rousey? This is an outrage!”

Much to the surprise of the community though, the most lively reaction came from Local Pastor of Fourth Independent Fundamental Missionary Bible Baptist Church of Chapmanville, Buddy Jo Vance. Vance surprised the community by issuing a challenge to both of the fighters.

Vance reportedly told The Times, “I’ve been watching both of these guys for years, and believe me, they’re both bums. I know both of their weaknesses. Both of them are softer than Town N’ Country’s extra soft Charmin. I want to issue a challenge to both of them. I fight the toughest enemy out there every Sunday, and his name is Lucifer. If I can whoop up on him, I know I can whoop up on these clowns. I’m throwing down a challenge to a Triple Threat Match to both of them right here, right now.”

When pressed about why he thought he could step in and be a serious contender against Mayweather who was a multi-division world champion who has never been defeated, and against McGregor who was also a multi-division MMA champion, Vance calmly said, “Philippians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.” The pastor then dropped The Times microphone, and then walked away.

What do you think? Do you think Vance has a shot? Let us know in the comment section below.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s